Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Aug Bear

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There is a love greater than the love you have for yourself - although sometimes I meet people that make me doubt this fact. Then I go over to my sister's home and I walk in their front door and am immediately enveloped in the ever present love that happily resides there. As you enter this palace ruled by a little boy, I see what unfailing love can look and feel like.

My sister used to work at Neiman Marcus for many years as the resident PR persona. She was undoubtedly the most stylish and put together person I'd ever seen. She was surely always in direct contrast to me...disheveled, hair messed up, heels half broken off and a piece of food that couldn't wait to assume its traditional role in between my two front teeth.

The life at Neiman Marcus was dazzling to me. Another place filled with perfect people and endless money all effortlessly flowing from the shopper's cashmere coated pockets. It was easy to see why she was fascinated with this superficial and self-fulfilling world.

I would occasionally try on this life for size but it never seemed to quite fit. It was always a bit stifling and unrealistic for me. I was sure they could see that I was an "other". A person that got 60% off their designer garb and a free pass to the hottest fashion shows. At the time, I thought it was quite unfortunate that I couldn't be part of this elite society.

However, the older, and possibly wiser I became, I realized that I was never meant for this life because I always knew that there was another person or thing that was higher and more important than myself.

My sister soon found this out as well - she left the land of superficiality for a non-profit helping in-need children. Although she didn't know if that was where she was meant to be in the future, I knew it was a step in the right direction.

Then my sister got engaged, and the spotlight was back on her. It suited her well. She was beginning to devote her life to Freddy but he was gracious enough to still allow her the much desired time to focus on herself (on occasion of course).

As you loyal blog readers know, my sister then conceived the most perfect being in this cold, sometimes shallow world. His presence brought instant light, warmth and hope. I watched as little Aug bear rocked my sister's being. She transformed herself into a perfect mother (still clad in designer clothes;). For the first time, I saw her love someone more than could be imagined. She cared for him like every minute was her last. Andrea had reached the powerful moment when she loved something more than herself - and what a beautiful and infinitely awesome thing that was to see. I can never get bored of watching that.

So when I peeled myself away from Augie's loving spell, I arrived home tonight and looked over at my baby Guido - I kept staring at him until I saw a furry little Augie standing in his place. I loved him more than myself and would give anything to make him happy. I know some people think that you should not care for your pets this much but to me it's just the first lesson on how to be a good mother...how to be selfless, generous and ever-forgiving. And I didn't see anything wrong with that. So call me the crazy dog lady but I've got a soulmate in that little furry maniac and I am hoping that one day he'll make a fabulous big brother...just another person to devote my life to and give selfless, crazy love.