Bureaucracy

I cried numerous times this week. But there was only one cause of my angst - bureaucracy. First perpetrator? My health insurance company.

Lets play out the scenario. Three conversations prior to my sinus surgery, I was assured that 90% of my surgery would be covered. Now, my health insurance company decided to have amnesia because it was apparently all my responsibility to bear. So, I decided to embark on a fact-finding mission.

During my first call, I was greeted by that infamous woman - the automated operator. I imagine the person that created this female (lets call her Jane) thought her voice would evoke calm and peace. To me, though, this voice had the uncanny ability to drive me to pure insanity in less than 30 seconds.

Today, we were off to a bad start. Jane was prompting me to give my health insurance policy number but "could not understand" me after four tries. Maybe she couldn't understand me because she repeatedly interrupted me while I was beginning to say my ID number.

Instead of transferring me to the real operator (the humane thing to do), Jane was dead set on getting my information before I could speak to anyone. I found myself screaming into the phone in the middle of Jewel - 8 - 0 - 3 ....A few women walked by me wondering why my face was beat red and why I was so mad at my phone, but a young guy sauntered by and gave me a knowing look. He knew all about Jane and her inability to comprehend numbers.

Finally, Jane decided to let me speak to her cohort. By the time I reached this poor woman, I was so exasperated that I had to catch my breath. I proceeded to tell her that 'Jane' was impossible to deal with and that I almost had a nervous breakdown trying to get through to her.

The operator was not interested in Jane or her peskiness, instead she informed me that she had no information regarding my case. Three people, and still no information. Apparently there was only one person that could help me finalize my claim - Jennifer. The problem was that Jennifer wouldn't call me back and I was beginning to think that this was purposeful as I left her more than five cryptic messages, each one getting more desperate and irate.

Normally, I consider myself a patient person, but today Jane just threw me over the edge. On top of all of that, I was knee deep in parking ticket issues with the City of Chicago. I am convinced that simultaneously dealing with these two organizations could send someone to the asylum.

The next stop on my bureaucratic meltdown was the post office. There were eight people in line and two postal workers. In a normal working environment this would take 10 minutes, but at the post office it naturally took 30. When I finally got up to the desk, the oblivious postal worker decided it was her obligation to fill in her fellow colleague about her weekend plans. I sat there dumbfounded.

"Excuse me miss, do you not see me here? The lowly US Post Office customer that is about to go postal on this place unless you take care of me soon and stop talking about your weekend of debauchery???"

This conversation played out in my head many different ways until she finally came back to me. But right then and there, I completely lost my gumption.

The point is that these bureaucracies unfortunately exist and they can either drive you insane or you can learn how to deal with them. I can assure you that crying is not the best coping method but I can also tell you that I know one way to let it roll off your back.

Meditation didn't work so well and either did yoga, but coming home to my dog and laying around petting his long, awesome pony tail ears did the trick. It's amazing how dogs can calm you down. So if you're in the middle of a bureaucratic crisis? Take some time to give your dog a belly rub and everything will seem OK in the world.